Ma
Grandparents are so important in inculcating human values, “sanskaar” as we call them, in kids. The person I have been the closest to in my life was my nani (mother’s mom), Ma as I would call her. She was an epitome of love, courage, wisdom and compassion. Writing this article in her memory :)
A B.A in those days, she got married to my grandfather, a Holkar from the Holkar family in Indore, at an early age. Soon they had 3 kids, my 2 uncles and my mother. One of my uncles(the middle child), Kiran mama got polio in his childhood and was paralysed for life mentally as well as physically. My mother was born around the same year. As heart breaking as it would be for any mother, my nani never gave up the fighting spirit. Under her guidance my other uncle grew up to become an Engineer and my mother went on to become a Doctor.
A few months after my birth my grandfather expired from a heart-a-attack. It was shocking for everyone but Ma stood as a pillar of strength for all of us. My elder mama had a job in Jabalpur but Ma never asked him to relocate nor agreed on relocating herself. The home in Indore was her home, where she entered as a bride, had all her memories, had her relatives close-by and she stayed there with my Kiran mama till her body gave up. Not an easy task at all financially, mentally as well as physically, given that Kiran mama would often have fits and collapse. She managed all the expenses of his medicines, the household, all the bills, maintenance very skilfully just with my grandpa’s pension and a very meagre rent from the shopkeepers downstairs. She was very “swabhimani” to take money from her children.
My sister was born a few months after grandpa’s death. My mother was still in grief about her dad and it was Ma and Kiran mama who actually took care of us. Later, my grandma would always tell us how it was because she got busy in taking care of us that she could overcome grandpa’s death but the truth is we needed them as much as they needed us. God has wondrous ways to help His children in time of difficulties :)
As we grew up, we visited Indore during every vacation to spend time with Ma and mama. I would count my days in Mumbai to spend time with my Nani. When we were there, me and my sister loved to help Ma out with her households; be it just taking the bucket full of water to the terrace for watering the plants, getting flowers for her puja, carrying the basket of vegetables back home from the market, vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning utensils when the maid didn’t come, to cutting the vegetables for cooking; helping nani was our favourite pass time. It gave us a very different kind of divinely satisfaction in helping nani.
When nani was cooking, I would sit and observe her closely. Even the way she cooked was so artistic, not wasting a single grain, utilising gas so skilfully, the way she grated masalas with her own hands, added ingredients in a certain order, certain amount to make it tasty yet healthy and nutritious; just everything about the way she cooked was pure art and I was a fan. I would often play “khana khazana” and try mimicking her later. Now that I think of it I learnt so much from her unknowingly.
Even consciously she taught us so many things, be it stitching, the value of money, using electricity with care, choosing the right vegetables from the market, doing puja, maths, languages and so many other essential things. The days with nani are the Golden days of my life.
Even in the financial crunch, she never took money from her kids, instead would always gift us. She would always keep the latest edition of my favourite comic “Chacha chowdhary” ready. Reaching the home in Indore, that was the first thing I would search for and she never disappointed me. Hearing the stories from the comic while having food was our favourite routine. She would reserve a certain budget to gift us beautiful dresses during Diwali and somehow always stretched to allow us to pick our favourites and not compromise there. She hardly let us realise the financial burden she had to face.
During summers, the cooler would be uncovered. We would sit in front of it during afternoons and enjoy the cool air. She taught us so many interesting card games, even board games and made sure we were occupied in things other than the television :P Even the summer nights were so interesting, sleeping on the terrace, gazing the stars, enjoying the natural breeze. Not just summers, every festival was so colourful and traditional in her presence. She would tell us the story behind every festival and make it so much more interesting.
Growing up, losing Ma was my biggest fear. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. In 2013, Ma took her last breath in my lap as she suffered a cardiac arrest. I am so grateful to be there during her final time. When me and my sister started following the meditations in art of living, Ma was so proud. And it was indeed my Guru and His techniques that protected me and helped me come out of the pain when I lost Ma.
Once Gurudev said “In olden days even the women at home were like saints. Our country has so many silent saints.” I could only imagine my nani when He said that. Ma will always remain a source of inspiration for me. She taught me not to be scared during any crisis, face them with courage, being grateful for life, for all the gifts the Divine has given, being happy in the basics and so many such beautiful values. She gave me the first glimpse of the happiness that one can achieve by doing Seva. Her teachings and presence shaped me into the person I am today and live with me every single day :)
